I never thought I’d be dating again, but here there I was, 40 yrs old, picking out a sassy outfit, putting on perfume and wearing the “good underwear!”
My date was my husband, Josh. We’ve just recommitted to dating each other. With our busy lives and a kiddo that we adore, this has proven to be a challenge in the past, but we’ve realized that to nourish our connection, we must actually have opportunities to connect, uninterrupted. Initially, I thought that our dating would be dinner or a movie – something simple – so when he presented me with tickets to the opera, I thought, “OK, the bar has just been raised!” We’re not opera fans per se but the point was to have a shared experience with each other.
As we sipped our coffee (b/c we fall asleep at 9 on most nights!) and waited for the show to start, I felt a shift in perspective. We were there together, to have an experience together – that’s all. We were able to laugh and acknowledge that opera was a sure-fire way to have the LONGEST conversation between two people ever, and enjoy just being in each other’s presence. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When the main character of the opera stepped onto stage, a princess, we heard an audience member say “Wow, she’s chunky!” We were offended for the singer as well as for our experience. Turns out that this singer was an award-winning, sought-after ingenue who happened to not fit the mold of what a princess “should” look like. Her singing was miraculous. She embodied everything that the role required and hit notes so high that we had to sit taller to take them in. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We were so lucky to have experienced this performance and through being present, were able to receive a true gift of bearing witness to artistry. It occurred to me that like this princess, we don’t fit the mold of what a marriage “should” look like. We work harder than necessary at times & can forget that our relationship is as important as our success. But through a shared experience, were able to see the miracle that is the two of us. I was reminded that when things don’t look like they “should,” it’s important to be curious, look for connection and expect miracles.⠀⠀⠀⠀